I nailed the crux move: this was going to be my first outdoor 5.11 send. My mind raced with the anticipation of standing on top of the giant arête, but excitement quickly turned to fear. 20 feet from my last bolt, my fear of heights decided that this was an opportune moment for a mental break down. Trying to stay calm I reached to clip in the rope, then it fell from my hands. Any hope of keeping it together fell like the rope that just eluded the draw. After taking a whip that landed me but two feet from the ground, I realized something: I really like bouldering.